The Kindzia Blog

A Different Life - October 18, 2009

One of the things that I enjoy about visiting a place like Spruce Pine, NC (which I frequently do with in-laws residing here) is obtaining an opportunity to step away from one lifestyle and immediately step into another.

Spruce Pine is in some ways a time warp.  It's as if it is not 2009 up here.  Maybe 1999, maybe even 1989 or 1979.  But it's not 2009.  There isn't a home computer that resides here (but a laptop with a 3G mobile card sneaks in from time to time - which still only works on the very north side of the house).  There's no garbage pickup at curbside (residents haul their own trash to the local dump).  As an aside, if you ever want to know how to reduce the amount of trash that comes out of a family household, make them haul their own trash to the dump.  It creates a remarkable shift in habits...

Logic Only Backs Up Emotional - September 27, 2009

My recent research is confirming a point that has been made by many others in the scientific fields of psychology and human behavior.  The idea that "logic only backs up our emotional thoughts and feelings."

In simple terms, what this means is that we tend to think that we are very logical creatures and that our behaviors are dictated by superior logic (a gift to humans over other animals).  But that is not really the entire story.  The way it appears that things tend to work is that we first have emotional thoughts and feelings (our gut) and then we tend to warp and bend the logic needed to support those emotional thoughts and feelings.

Perspective And Long Term - September 22, 2009

I've been flustered a bit the past 7 to 10 days on certain fronts.  And to no surprise to many of you who "live the lifestyle" I'm constantly reminded of the concept of "perspective, trade-offs, and long term application" to life values.

Exceeding Personal Limits - August 26, 2008

 On Sunday, August 24, 2008 I completed my 11th Ironman Triathlon.  Hailed as one of the most grueling endurance competitions, the Ironman consists of a 2.4 mile open water swim, a 112 mile bike followed by a complete 26.2 mile marathon run.

The Ironman has been providing me with an endless opportunity to challenge myself on a physical realm.  It all began when I did my first running race, the popular July 4th Peachtree Road Race in Atlanta, Georgia.  I trained for the race but still was unable to finish in under an hour.  I remember crossing the line completely exhausted, a desire to vomit and anxious to lay down.  Yet, as depleted as I found myself as I crossed the line, I left that race with a burning desire to push myself to new limits.

I continued my run training with new vigor and I set my sights on a longer race, the Atlanta Half Marathon held on Thanksgiving morning.  Not only did I want to complete the distance, but I wanted to do it in under 2 hours.  This was a big challenge as the half marathon is 13.1 miles.  The Peachtree Road Race was a 10K (6.2 miles) and I couldn't finish that in under an hour.  But with the help and encouragement of some good friends (Mike and Kate Parker), they paced me and encouraged me to run my very hardest that morning.  I finished in 1:58.  That was it, I WAS HOOKED!

The rest is history.  I HAD to do a marathon.  Then I HAD to do another one to see if I could go faster and finish in under 4 hours.  Then triathlon entered my life.  I wanted the extra challenge of swimming and biking prior to the running.  The only swimming experience I really had as a child was doing cannonballs in my neighbors pool and doggy paddling back to the exit ladder.

What I'm reminded of is that I am most fulfilled in my life when I strive to exceed myself and push myself past my current limits.  I attempt to push myself in three dimensions; mental, physical and emotional.

This past summer I decided I was going to push myself to new heights in my career and my skill set and am learning new technology skills.  At 39 years old and years and years of education under my belt, I didn't think I would have the desire (or the courage) to expand my continuing education.  It comes with nervousness and fear.  What if I can't keep up with the younger kids?  What if I can't do it?  What if I fail?

So I'm left staring at a quote that I tucked away for just such an occasion;

"It is far better to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, then to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." - Theodore Roosevelt

Here is to exceeding our personal limits!!!

Exceeding Personal Limits - August 26, 2008

 On Sunday, August 24, 2008 I completed my 11th Ironman Triathlon.  Hailed as one of the most grueling endurance competitions, the Ironman consists of a 2.4 mile open water swim, a 112 mile bike followed by a complete 26.2 mile marathon run.

The Ironman has been providing me with an endless opportunity to challenge myself on a physical realm.  It all began when I did my first running race, the popular July 4th Peachtree Road Race in Atlanta, Georgia.  I trained for the race but still was unable to finish in under an hour.  I remember crossing the line completely exhausted, a desire to vomit and anxious to lay down.  Yet, as depleted as I found myself as I crossed the line, I left that race with a burning desire to push myself to new limits.

I continued my run training with new vigor and I set my sights on a longer race, the Atlanta Half Marathon held on Thanksgiving morning.  Not only did I want to complete the distance, but I wanted to do it in under 2 hours.  This was a big challenge as the half marathon is 13.1 miles.  The Peachtree Road Race was a 10K (6.2 miles) and I couldn't finish that in under an hour.  But with the help and encouragement of some good friends (Mike and Kate Parker), they paced me and encouraged me to run my very hardest that morning.  I finished in 1:58.  That was it, I WAS HOOKED!

The rest is history.  I HAD to do a marathon.  Then I HAD to do another one to see if I could go faster and finish in under 4 hours.  Then triathlon entered my life.  I wanted the extra challenge of swimming and biking prior to the running.  The only swimming experience I really had as a child was doing cannonballs in my neighbors pool and doggy paddling back to the exit ladder.

What I'm reminded of is that I am most fulfilled in my life when I strive to exceed myself and push myself past my current limits.  I attempt to push myself in three dimensions; mental, physical and emotional.

This past summer I decided I was going to push myself to new heights in my career and my skill set and am learning new technology skills.  At 39 years old and years and years of education under my belt, I didn't think I would have the desire (or the courage) to expand my continuing education.  It comes with nervousness and fear.  What if I can't keep up with the younger kids?  What if I can't do it?  What if I fail?

So I'm left staring at a quote that I tucked away for just such an occasion;

"It is far better to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, then to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." - Theodore Roosevelt

Here is to exceeding our personal limits!!!

Exceeding Personal Limits - August 26, 2008

 On Sunday, August 24, 2008 I completed my 11th Ironman Triathlon.  Hailed as one of the most grueling endurance competitions, the Ironman consists of a 2.4 mile open water swim, a 112 mile bike followed by a complete 26.2 mile marathon run.

The Ironman has been providing me with an endless opportunity to challenge myself on a physical realm.  It all began when I did my first running race, the popular July 4th Peachtree Road Race in Atlanta, Georgia.  I trained for the race but still was unable to finish in under an hour.  I remember crossing the line completely exhausted, a desire to vomit and anxious to lay down.  Yet, as depleted as I found myself as I crossed the line, I left that race with a burning desire to push myself to new limits.

I continued my run training with new vigor and I set my sights on a longer race, the Atlanta Half Marathon held on Thanksgiving morning.  Not only did I want to complete the distance, but I wanted to do it in under 2 hours.  This was a big challenge as the half marathon is 13.1 miles.  The Peachtree Road Race was a 10K (6.2 miles) and I couldn't finish that in under an hour.  But with the help and encouragement of some good friends (Mike and Kate Parker), they paced me and encouraged me to run my very hardest that morning.  I finished in 1:58.  That was it, I WAS HOOKED!

The rest is history.  I HAD to do a marathon.  Then I HAD to do another one to see if I could go faster and finish in under 4 hours.  Then triathlon entered my life.  I wanted the extra challenge of swimming and biking prior to the running.  The only swimming experience I really had as a child was doing cannonballs in my neighbors pool and doggy paddling back to the exit ladder.

What I'm reminded of is that I am most fulfilled in my life when I strive to exceed myself and push myself past my current limits.  I attempt to push myself in three dimensions; mental, physical and emotional.

This past summer I decided I was going to push myself to new heights in my career and my skill set and am learning new technology skills.  At 39 years old and years and years of education under my belt, I didn't think I would have the desire (or the courage) to expand my continuing education.  It comes with nervousness and fear.  What if I can't keep up with the younger kids?  What if I can't do it?  What if I fail?

So I'm left staring at a quote that I tucked away for just such an occasion;

"It is far better to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, then to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." - Theodore Roosevelt

Here is to exceeding our personal limits!!!

The Worry Never Left - August 7, 2008

I thought I should throw out a "blanket definition" of wealthy before I begin.  I describe "wealthy" to myself and to my clients as a state of financial life whereby the individual can simply live off of financial assets.  There is no need to work.  If wealthy people work, it's because they want to, not because they have to.  Big difference.

Once we understand "wealthy," I would supercharge that definition to describe what I would call the "super wealthy."  These would be individuals who have a personal net worth not just in the millions but in the tens or even hundreds of millions of dollars (perhaps even billions).

As a student of behavioral finance, I'm always searching for links between our state of wealth and our state of health and happiness.  Having one, doesn't necessarily lead to having the others.

One thing that most "non wealthy" experience, even on a daily basis is the emotion of "worry."  We worry about everything.  We worry about paying the mortgage, our jobs, our retirement, our time (or lack thereof to spend on personal items), our wants and desires and what can be taken away from us.  In simple terms; humans are "worry-warts."

When I study those who are "non-wealthy" I often ask why they want more money or more financial wealth.  A common answer I get is, "So I don't have to worry anymore."  Their thought process is that by obtaining more wealth, the worrying goes away.

But I've had an opportunity to study the wealthy as well and what I am finding is, they worry too (and sometimes a lot.)  What do they worry about?  Here's some examples;

• They worry that some of the top performing private equity funds are closed and won't take their money.  There are so many super wealthy individuals trying to invest in the same private equity funds that require sometimes $5 to $10 million in minimum investment amounts that these private equity funds are turning investors away.
• They worry about running out of money due to inflation (I am not kidding on this one).  The cost of living for the wealthy is rising in double digits even though the core inflation rate is much lower.  Financial markets are down and their spending behavior is not being adjusted accordingly.  I know you feel sorry for the cost increases in maintianing a Lear Jet and associated jet fuel prices for these people...
• They worry about staying competitive with their peer group.  When they go to the Hampton's, or Palm Beach, or Jackson Hole, or on their yacht while flying their private jet, the guy next door has a bigger house, a bigger yacht, a newer jet.  These are driven people that are used to being at the top of the food chain.  It kills them to see someone pull ahead of them.  They all want to be the kingpin, the big cheese.  So they worry about how they will pull ahead of others in their peer group or they worry about falling behind in their peer group as in, "I feel like a loser since I only am worth $25 million and these people are all worth $50 to $100 million..."

So what motivates them is a combination of fear and greed and while they deal with both of them, their lives are still full of worry.  The worry in their lives never left.  What is worrying you and is it something that is controllable or non-controllable?  Are the things we worry about really important in the scheme of life.  If we were 85 years old, dying on our death bed while lying in a nursing home bed, will we look back on our current life and say, "I'm glad I worried about all that stuff 40 years ago...Oh wait...what was I so worried about?"

The Worry Never Left - August 7, 2008

I thought I should throw out a "blanket definition" of wealthy before I begin.  I describe "wealthy" to myself and to my clients as a state of financial life whereby the individual can simply live off of financial assets.  There is no need to work.  If wealthy people work, it's because they want to, not because they have to.  Big difference.

Once we understand "wealthy," I would supercharge that definition to describe what I would call the "super wealthy."  These would be individuals who have a personal net worth not just in the millions but in the tens or even hundreds of millions of dollars (perhaps even billions).

As a student of behavioral finance, I'm always searching for links between our state of wealth and our state of health and happiness.  Having one, doesn't necessarily lead to having the others.

One thing that most "non wealthy" experience, even on a daily basis is the emotion of "worry."  We worry about everything.  We worry about paying the mortgage, our jobs, our retirement, our time (or lack thereof to spend on personal items), our wants and desires and what can be taken away from us.  In simple terms; humans are "worry-warts."

When I study those who are "non-wealthy" I often ask why they want more money or more financial wealth.  A common answer I get is, "So I don't have to worry anymore."  Their thought process is that by obtaining more wealth, the worrying goes away.

But I've had an opportunity to study the wealthy as well and what I am finding is, they worry too (and sometimes a lot.)  What do they worry about?  Here's some examples;

• They worry that some of the top performing private equity funds are closed and won't take their money.  There are so many super wealthy individuals trying to invest in the same private equity funds that require sometimes $5 to $10 million in minimum investment amounts that these private equity funds are turning investors away.
• They worry about running out of money due to inflation (I am not kidding on this one).  The cost of living for the wealthy is rising in double digits even though the core inflation rate is much lower.  Financial markets are down and their spending behavior is not being adjusted accordingly.  I know you feel sorry for the cost increases in maintianing a Lear Jet and associated jet fuel prices for these people...
• They worry about staying competitive with their peer group.  When they go to the Hampton's, or Palm Beach, or Jackson Hole, or on their yacht while flying their private jet, the guy next door has a bigger house, a bigger yacht, a newer jet.  These are driven people that are used to being at the top of the food chain.  It kills them to see someone pull ahead of them.  They all want to be the kingpin, the big cheese.  So they worry about how they will pull ahead of others in their peer group or they worry about falling behind in their peer group as in, "I feel like a loser since I only am worth $25 million and these people are all worth $50 to $100 million..."

So what motivates them is a combination of fear and greed and while they deal with both of them, their lives are still full of worry.  The worry in their lives never left.  What is worrying you and is it something that is controllable or non-controllable?  Are the things we worry about really important in the scheme of life.  If we were 85 years old, dying on our death bed while lying in a nursing home bed, will we look back on our current life and say, "I'm glad I worried about all that stuff 40 years ago...Oh wait...what was I so worried about?"

The Worry Never Left - August 7, 2008

I thought I should throw out a "blanket definition" of wealthy before I begin.  I describe "wealthy" to myself and to my clients as a state of financial life whereby the individual can simply live off of financial assets.  There is no need to work.  If wealthy people work, it's because they want to, not because they have to.  Big difference.

Once we understand "wealthy," I would supercharge that definition to describe what I would call the "super wealthy."  These would be individuals who have a personal net worth not just in the millions but in the tens or even hundreds of millions of dollars (perhaps even billions).

As a student of behavioral finance, I'm always searching for links between our state of wealth and our state of health and happiness.  Having one, doesn't necessarily lead to having the others.

One thing that most "non wealthy" experience, even on a daily basis is the emotion of "worry."  We worry about everything.  We worry about paying the mortgage, our jobs, our retirement, our time (or lack thereof to spend on personal items), our wants and desires and what can be taken away from us.  In simple terms; humans are "worry-warts."

When I study those who are "non-wealthy" I often ask why they want more money or more financial wealth.  A common answer I get is, "So I don't have to worry anymore."  Their thought process is that by obtaining more wealth, the worrying goes away.

But I've had an opportunity to study the wealthy as well and what I am finding is, they worry too (and sometimes a lot.)  What do they worry about?  Here's some examples;

• They worry that some of the top performing private equity funds are closed and won't take their money.  There are so many super wealthy individuals trying to invest in the same private equity funds that require sometimes $5 to $10 million in minimum investment amounts that these private equity funds are turning investors away.
• They worry about running out of money due to inflation (I am not kidding on this one).  The cost of living for the wealthy is rising in double digits even though the core inflation rate is much lower.  Financial markets are down and their spending behavior is not being adjusted accordingly.  I know you feel sorry for the cost increases in maintianing a Lear Jet and associated jet fuel prices for these people...
• They worry about staying competitive with their peer group.  When they go to the Hampton's, or Palm Beach, or Jackson Hole, or on their yacht while flying their private jet, the guy next door has a bigger house, a bigger yacht, a newer jet.  These are driven people that are used to being at the top of the food chain.  It kills them to see someone pull ahead of them.  They all want to be the kingpin, the big cheese.  So they worry about how they will pull ahead of others in their peer group or they worry about falling behind in their peer group as in, "I feel like a loser since I only am worth $25 million and these people are all worth $50 to $100 million..."

So what motivates them is a combination of fear and greed and while they deal with both of them, their lives are still full of worry.  The worry in their lives never left.  What is worrying you and is it something that is controllable or non-controllable?  Are the things we worry about really important in the scheme of life.  If we were 85 years old, dying on our death bed while lying in a nursing home bed, will we look back on our current life and say, "I'm glad I worried about all that stuff 40 years ago...Oh wait...what was I so worried about?"

Taking Action - July 22, 2008

I often find that I get stressed or anxious when there is personal conflict between what I desire in life and what I seem to be doing with my time.  Simply put, if my behaviors are not in alignment with my goals or dreams, I end up feeling unfulfilled or frustrated (maybe even disappointed with myself).

One way for me to get back on track is to realize that I often have more choices than I seem to think I have.  If I step back, open up my mind and explore possibilities, I'll discover that there are many more options if I am willing to be open minded and try some things that are "outside the box."  We'll often find that we tend to limit ourselves to things that will be socially acceptable or understood by our peer group, friends, family or significant other.  But the more creative we can be in seeking choices, the higher the probability of getting on a path to personal success rather than staying in a rut that is proving to be going nowhere.

We all choose a path in life.  Even if we do nothing and sit on our asses, it's still a choice. Nobody forces us to sit on our butt's all day and stay in a rut.  Once we decide on a choice, we've made a commitment to that choice based on why that choice is attractive to us at the time (and nothing says we can't change our mind later about that choice).  Ideas are great, but unless we have a commitment towards a particular choice, we'll be stuck with nothing but "great ideas" in our lives.

If we made a choice to change and we are committed to change, then we need to ultimately take action and modify our future behaviors and habits.  What exactly needs to be done to move in a new direction?  What needs to change?  What do we need help on and from who?  Do we need more skills?  Once we take action on a choice that we made a commitment to, we begin to modify the probability of success.  They say, "anything is possible", but it's highly improbable if we continue to sit on our butt's and do nothing towards our goals.  What we want is to take action.  The more action we take, the higher the probability of success.

Finally, as we take action, we learn (albeit sometimes the hard way).  But learning is part of the game.  Mistakes are part of life and if we fear mistakes, we'll never try anything (and thus stay in a rut which we've already determined is unfulfilling).  So the final necessity in taking action is the process of self-observing and reflection and holding ourselves accountable to moving forward.

I recently received a quote from one of my training partners in Ironman that I think is worth sharing here;

Choices

"What we have is based upon moment-to-moment choices of what we do.  In each of these moments, we choose.

We either take a risk and move toward what we want, or we play it safe and choose comfort.  Most of the people most of the time chose comfort.

In the end, people either have excuses or experiences; reasons or results; buts or brilliance.

They either have what they wanted or they have a detailed list of all the rational reasons why not."

-Anonymous